Tiny Humans

 Not sure if ya'll knew this but children are humans. And I don't like that they don't get treated like such. They are an EXTENSION of you; they are not you and they will never be you, and you shouldn't want them to be and I mean that in a respectful way. Of course they'll take on personality traits and characteristics because, duh genetics and science and things but you don't get to shape their personality to be who you want them to be. Let the babies explore themselves, be who they are, and you guide them along the way.

Parents have to release this control they have on their children. Some people grew up in controlling households so that's all they know how to do when it comes to parenting, but then you get the black sheep of the family who's soul understands the assignment and that's why they rebel (I'm speaking for myself as well). That's the generational curse breaker, the generational trauma healer. Be gentle with them because they have a lot on their plate. They had to come back to this hell hole and fix everything ya'll managed to mess up. They're the "don't touch it, I got it" of the family because if they don't do it then it won't get done.

Children are allowed to have emotions, fyi. Things upset them and that's okay. These new kids are a lot more in tune with their emotions as well and you have to let them be otherwise they will grow up to resent you because you never gave them a safe space for their emotions and now they have to unpack all of that as an adult and reparent themselves. This will strain their relationships of all kinds and more than likely land them in therapy to undo what you've caused. Listen to your children; they're little people with big feelings they don't understand. When they say something upsets them don't gaslight them and try to tell them how they should feel; listen to what bothers them, reflect on how and why your actions upset them, APOLOGIZE IN THEIR APOLOGY LANGUAGE (yeah, this is a thing), and then have positive reinforcement. All it takes is a calm and civilized conversation. The yelling and cussing isn't necessary because while that may be a child, that's a child with feelings, a memory, and that will one day be an adult. Teach them young about emotional intelligence and emotional control and watch them blossom into the best versions of themselves.

It starts with children; it starts with their emotions. They don't understand why they feel the way they do and they don't need to be yelled at for feeling them. Your job as a parent is to help them navigate these big emotions they don't understand and remind them every time that they are valid. Invalidation is usually how people pleasers are sprouted as adults. They'll stay in situations where their feelings are constantly invalidated and they'll feel their opinions/feelings aren't worth being expressed which will make them more prone to emotional, mental, and verbal abuse. They won't be able to speak up for themselves because what's the point? Their feelings were never catered to before, what would make this time any different?